It's been a week since the world changed. Seven days since 62,984,825 Americans voted to "shake things up." And they chose a candidate who is either a racist, bigoted, misogynistic, blowhard or the one who rose to the highest position in the United States by exploiting those who relate to that behavior, damn the consequences. Which is worse?!

This week has been like a 2 x 4 upside the head. I feel as if I've been plunged right back in to the pain and confusion of my first weeks after C came out to us. Like the axis of the earth has shifted completely. No one knows quite what to expect but for the marginalized, it feels as if the worst should be expected. If we don't expect it, we should, at least prepare for it.

I said to a friend today, "I feel like an intellectual prepper." Instead of prepping for the national infrastructure to fall apart, guns to be confiscated and Muslims to take over the country, I am trying to ensure my family is protected legally. We've double checked my husband's green card expiration date, we have rushed through the process of getting C's legal documents finalized, we have printed up copies of federal laws concerning trans safety and school bathroom and bullying policies. I hope to God we are being overly cautious but, as we watch the President-elect's transition team falling in to place, it doesn't feel like over reaction.

The day after the election, a friend sent me a copy of the stages of grief. I think all people who value respect, dignity and equality, are moving through these stages in the aftermath of the election. It feels as if the country we have fought so hard to create -- working toward a country where all voices can be heard, even though there is still so far to go -- has died. This is not about politics. This is about LOVE and the antithesis of that. I can safely say I have moved out of the denial stage, as I process my grief, and firmly in to the anger stage. I don't want to hear any more of the normalizing that is going on in the media and with people who are ready to move on and forget it all. To quote the Dixie Chicks, "I’m mad as hell, can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should." People, this scares the hell out of me. I'm not going to lie. I hope I'm wrong. Those of you who know me know this is big thing for me to say. I hate to be wrong. But, God, I hope I'm wrong. So we sit and wait.

And prepare.

#election #grief #politics #prep #prepare